The Grief Left Behind
When someone has died of suicide, their family and friends are left not only feeling tremendous guilt, but also carrying a million unanswered questions. The session is a good time for them to get those answers.
Why They Often Do Not Cross
Within the belief framework we are working in, people who have died of suicide are often described as not going into the light right away — as though they feel they do not deserve God's love. So it is extremely important that you ask if they went into the light, and that you gently, within that same framework, explain to them that going into the light is needed for them to heal.
Preparing Your Client
Prepare your client before you begin. Let them know that if the loved one has not crossed, you will help them cross today, and that they will get to speak with them first. Take the fear of judgment off the table. The light is love. The light is home. No soul is ever turned away — not for how they died, not for anything.
Caring for Yourself
Be aware of what may surface for you. Sitting with another person's grief — especially grief tied to suicide — can stir up your own losses. Notice it, breathe through it, and stay present for your client. This is one of the reasons your own continued healing matters so much in this work.
Practice
Practice the tone that holds the room. 1. Say out loud, in a calm and ordinary voice: "That's okay — we're going to help them cross today." 2. Repeat it until it sounds as easy as offering someone a glass of water. No drama, no hush. 3. Write two sentences explaining, in your own words, why these souls so rarely cross on their own. 4. Say those two sentences aloud too. A client may ask, and your steadiness is the answer.